Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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