Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
