last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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