I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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