The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
