I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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