you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Randomize
