Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
