Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i think we sleep fucked last night...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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