So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
