nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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