He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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