11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
