she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
