when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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