Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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