Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
