I just saw a hot homeless man
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize