there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
