Dual....:-)
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
