if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
