This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
