Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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