whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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