none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Mom said you looked used
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
