Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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