my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
