In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
