I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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