my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
