did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
