He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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