Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
