This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
