Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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