I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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