Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
