whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
