I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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