I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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