And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
