There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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