your thong is hanging out like whoa
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
