At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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