Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I smell stomach acid.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My ass is underappreciated
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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