You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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