i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
North Korea, Best Korea!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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