Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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