Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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