Nicole vs. Life
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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