I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
