Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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