I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
