I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
