The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
