they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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