i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
