Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
