OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
