I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
40s are totally the cure
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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