"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
