totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
