I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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