we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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